Firstly, I'd like to take a moment to worry. So cd29 had a higher temp, which I was excited about. Then we traveled across the country for the holidays.. Which have been wonderful and spent with family. However, my temps have all dropped down way below even my normal "low" temperature range. For the past 6 days they've been well into the 35's - which I am now bummed about. This seems to indicate no ovulation at all this cycle - sigh. What is going on with my body? And why wont it cooperate?! Tomorrow is cd35 and normally I'd be expecting AF to show up, but now I'm completely confused and given my low temps have no idea what to expect! I guess only time will tell, but I've never wished so hard for AF to show up. I really am hopeful - and a bit scared - that next cycle can and will be normal. Please send some love and light my way. Thank you!
Secondly and more importantly, tomorrow begins a new day, and the last day of 2010. As I reflect upon this year past I can only let go of the things that did not go as planned, the things which required a great deal of healing, the losses of some very wonderful souls, and send them positive thoughts. Each of you have made an imprint and will forever be in my heart. I look towards 2011 with hope that it will be a wonderful year filled with positive experiences, happiness and love.
Happy New Year 2011!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry O, O, O?
Happy Holidays to everyone! I wish all of your Christmas dreams to be realized in the new year.
Today it is Christmas Eve! I'm excited to be traveling to Ottawa for the season and a nice relaxing time with family. We're at the airport waiting for our flight. For me, today is also CD29 and my morning temperature finally went above my coverline. Yay! This might be good news for us. Possible O-day?
Now to hope that my temps stay up for at least 12 days to give me some sense of peace about the luteal phase. Then I can relax into January and have a nice calm cycle. Ahhh, wouldn't that be wonderful.
This would mean that I ovulated late this cycle. Even later than my normally late (CD22-25) ovulation. Likely because of the stress of the holidays. I am/was beginning to think this cycle was anovulatory and or going to last forever. Next cycle I will also be using OPKs again and am crossing my fingers that my cycles can regulate themselves soon for me (and my sanity!).
Sending holiday wishes to you and yours,
Renae
Today it is Christmas Eve! I'm excited to be traveling to Ottawa for the season and a nice relaxing time with family. We're at the airport waiting for our flight. For me, today is also CD29 and my morning temperature finally went above my coverline. Yay! This might be good news for us. Possible O-day?
Now to hope that my temps stay up for at least 12 days to give me some sense of peace about the luteal phase. Then I can relax into January and have a nice calm cycle. Ahhh, wouldn't that be wonderful.
This would mean that I ovulated late this cycle. Even later than my normally late (CD22-25) ovulation. Likely because of the stress of the holidays. I am/was beginning to think this cycle was anovulatory and or going to last forever. Next cycle I will also be using OPKs again and am crossing my fingers that my cycles can regulate themselves soon for me (and my sanity!).
Sending holiday wishes to you and yours,
Renae
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| SBUX Christmas Paper from my cheese danish - yum! |
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Epic Follicular Phases
My follicular phases seem to last for freaking ever. It's now calendar day 17, and not much has occurred. A few blips and bumps along the temperature chart but nothing of note. The charts up to this point normally look like a roller coaster ride of random ups and downs in the high 35s to low 36s. The last two cycles I tracked had O-day occurring around day 21-25. That's a long wait if you think about it - most of a month. So I'm speculating that this cycle will be on pattern and very much the same. I guess I have well developed eggies. Or so I hope. Much as previous cycles I worry about the shortness of the Luteal Phase and can only hope that O-day will creep downwards and extend the LP. Only time will tell.
On Friday, I had mouth surgery to remove a growth (a piece of skin that I kept on biting - painful). I will spare you the details as I am sure most of you will not want to know how awful surgery on your mouth is. They did the procedure at the dentist's office and it went surprisingly smoothly. I was so scared that I was shaking in the chair. My husband said in a comforting tone before I left, "It will be okay, how bad could it be?". My answer, "He is going to give me a needle, then cut my cheek, then cauterize it. Being poked, cut and then burned. How much worse could it be?" He just hugged me. Two days later and it is healing nicely I believe. Now we wait for the test results. I think it will come back normal. Staying positive is always the best method.
For now, I am trying to relax and heal up. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of relaxing personally. But I guess not. As I have developed a rash (again) from stress (or from laundry detergent possibly) that is very persistent and likes to keep me awake at night. Perhaps from the stress of anticipating surgery, but I'm speculating. I would like to scratch my skin off but have learned from past experiences that scratching only puts you back to square one. Sigh. Hoping to find some relief soon.
On Friday, I had mouth surgery to remove a growth (a piece of skin that I kept on biting - painful). I will spare you the details as I am sure most of you will not want to know how awful surgery on your mouth is. They did the procedure at the dentist's office and it went surprisingly smoothly. I was so scared that I was shaking in the chair. My husband said in a comforting tone before I left, "It will be okay, how bad could it be?". My answer, "He is going to give me a needle, then cut my cheek, then cauterize it. Being poked, cut and then burned. How much worse could it be?" He just hugged me. Two days later and it is healing nicely I believe. Now we wait for the test results. I think it will come back normal. Staying positive is always the best method.
For now, I am trying to relax and heal up. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of relaxing personally. But I guess not. As I have developed a rash (again) from stress (or from laundry detergent possibly) that is very persistent and likes to keep me awake at night. Perhaps from the stress of anticipating surgery, but I'm speculating. I would like to scratch my skin off but have learned from past experiences that scratching only puts you back to square one. Sigh. Hoping to find some relief soon.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Family Love
We are now on what I will count as cycle number four. I know that in TTC terms, this is not a very long period of time. I've read about ladies who've been TTC for years and I truly feel for them. I've also read about ladies who get BFPs on their first try and go on to have wonderful pregnancies. My thoughts on having to actually put forth an effort to TTC are that it can only lead to a greater appreciation of the end goal, a deeper love for the little baby and reflection on all of the hard work that went into planning for them. It has been quite a journey so far.
In one sense, I am lucky in that I get to share this TTC journey with my sister, who also understands the hardships of TTC and loss. I wish that we didn't understand it, that we could get pregnant easily and stay pregnant but so far that has not been the case for either of us. My sister is on one hand a great support in that she understands what I am going through and on the other hand, since she is my older sister and also TTC (aka wanting to have a baby first) I also am conflicted in that I don't want to share too much, or make her feel as though I may be stealing her thunder. Ideally she would have a baby first, but the world isn't always "right" and I understand this fact. It however doesn't make our situation any easier. I wish for her happiness and that she will soon have her bundle of joy as she so dreams.
Speaking of family, the funeral last week was beautiful. It brought together a lot of family. We enjoyed seeing everyone again and feeling the sense of love and belonging. It really means a lot to us that we have such wonderful people around us. We can't wait to be able to share some good news with them all. I still feel bad that we won't be able to share the good news as planned at Christmas time, but I'm trying not to dwell on what could have been, and instead focus on what could be. My grandma keeps asking me when she will be a great grandma. Perhaps next year if we are lucky.
This month we are not really trying to conceive again, based on doctors recommendation from the CP in October, but would be pleasantly surprised if we did get happy news. We will likely be due for AF or HPT on New Year's Eve, which would be a really fun day to get a BFP. My plan is to keep using BBT and let things happen as they may. I don't plan to use OPKs or anything else this cycle. I'm still hoping for an October or November baby, so we wouldn't need to try until January or February in that case. I've got a stock of OPKs and HPTs in the ready for Jan/Feb 2011... I occasionally feel like a crazy person for having a bathroom shelf stocked full of TTC products, and wonder 'Am I normal?'
We are celebrating Christmas with family here at home in just two weeks and then again with more family out of province the following week. We are really looking forward to the entire Christmas season. All of our Christmas cards were mailed out end of November, all but one gift is bought and wrapped and today we put the Christmas lights on our house. All we need is a tree and we're all set for family dinner.
Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, the shelter cat we adopted is fitting nicely into our home. He still does not have a name, but I am sure one will stand out soon.
Wishing you and yours a magical holiday season.
Renae
In one sense, I am lucky in that I get to share this TTC journey with my sister, who also understands the hardships of TTC and loss. I wish that we didn't understand it, that we could get pregnant easily and stay pregnant but so far that has not been the case for either of us. My sister is on one hand a great support in that she understands what I am going through and on the other hand, since she is my older sister and also TTC (aka wanting to have a baby first) I also am conflicted in that I don't want to share too much, or make her feel as though I may be stealing her thunder. Ideally she would have a baby first, but the world isn't always "right" and I understand this fact. It however doesn't make our situation any easier. I wish for her happiness and that she will soon have her bundle of joy as she so dreams.
Speaking of family, the funeral last week was beautiful. It brought together a lot of family. We enjoyed seeing everyone again and feeling the sense of love and belonging. It really means a lot to us that we have such wonderful people around us. We can't wait to be able to share some good news with them all. I still feel bad that we won't be able to share the good news as planned at Christmas time, but I'm trying not to dwell on what could have been, and instead focus on what could be. My grandma keeps asking me when she will be a great grandma. Perhaps next year if we are lucky.
This month we are not really trying to conceive again, based on doctors recommendation from the CP in October, but would be pleasantly surprised if we did get happy news. We will likely be due for AF or HPT on New Year's Eve, which would be a really fun day to get a BFP. My plan is to keep using BBT and let things happen as they may. I don't plan to use OPKs or anything else this cycle. I'm still hoping for an October or November baby, so we wouldn't need to try until January or February in that case. I've got a stock of OPKs and HPTs in the ready for Jan/Feb 2011... I occasionally feel like a crazy person for having a bathroom shelf stocked full of TTC products, and wonder 'Am I normal?'
We are celebrating Christmas with family here at home in just two weeks and then again with more family out of province the following week. We are really looking forward to the entire Christmas season. All of our Christmas cards were mailed out end of November, all but one gift is bought and wrapped and today we put the Christmas lights on our house. All we need is a tree and we're all set for family dinner.
Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, the shelter cat we adopted is fitting nicely into our home. He still does not have a name, but I am sure one will stand out soon.
Wishing you and yours a magical holiday season.
Renae
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