Birthday!

My birthday yesterday was beautiful. I woke up to my DH and my birthday present beside me. He gave me a new lens for my camera. A telephoto lens which I have never had but have wanted now for a few years. After work, I went out to dinner with my DH and two of my girlfriends to Charcut and then to the ballet to see the Sarah Mclaughlin ballet. She was actually in attendance, which was nice to see. When we left it was raining. We got home at the end of the evening and my DH brought out home made chocolate cake that he had baked me. I love him so much. My birthday was perfect.

Today is CD20 and still no temperature rise on my chart. I was having mild cramping in my lower belly for about a week, but they seem to have subsided. All of the OPKs this cycle have been glaringly white, aka negative, up until today. On a whim, as it seems to happen often to me, I decided to take another OPK. Maybe my intuition is much stronger than I give it credit for. Finally a second line has appeared. It is not positive yet, but fairly close and I am hopeful that O will be in the next couple of days.

I've been trying to spend time working on myself lately. I've started back going to the gym after work quite a bit as a focus on my health. I'd love to be able to have a healthy pregnancy in all ways, so this is a small way to help myself. I'm planning to keep it up throughout my whole pregnancy to stay in the best shape I can.  I have also been going for relaxation massages and to reiki to improve my health and be more calm. So far they seem to be working as I do not seem to be as worried lately in comparison to earlier this year. I'm open minded to what good things the universe has in store for me. Reiki is the movement and flow of energy. From what I understand it is based on the principle that everything is energy. Both are very calming and I think may also help toward TTC.

We go to the fertility clinic in 4 more days time. I am excited to be moving forward towards our dreams of having a family of our own, and yet I am scared as this is a big step into the unknown. I'm also fearful that the news they give us after what may possibly be a long round of testing may be bad. I tend to prepare for the worst and hope for the best in most everything I do in life. I'm trying my best to stay positive and hopeful that the OB will be able to surprise us and we will achieve our dreams sooner than we suspect. We are scheduled to meet with the OB who is the director of the facility, so that does instill a level of confidence. I feel as though, even with my conflicting feelings, that we will get our children someday, and would even on our own, but I am impatient. I have never disputed this fact. So I view the OB as helping us along faster than we seem to be able to TTC on our own. I can't wait to meet the OB and be finally moving forward in TTC!