The happy part. Today is our one year anniversary! A year ago we were on the beach in Dominican Republic, surrounded by loved ones, exchanging vows. The time has just flown by. I am thankful each day for my wonderful husband.
The sad part. We have postponed our celebration. We are flying out tomorrow for a family funeral on Monday and have had everything up in the air for the past few days. Tonight we're packing our bags and finding care for our animals. My husband cancelled the flowers he'd ordered and cancelled our dinner reservation. We need to get up very early to catch our flight and thought it best to celebrate another weekend instead. Tonight we are staying in, ordering a pizza and watching a movie. It will be a sad few days, likely filled with tears and heartwarming stories. We will be surrounded by family and I think that is where we need to be right now. Sending a little prayer to the Smeltz family.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
New Member of the Family
Today I am 10 or 11dpo. It is somewhat comforting to know that my luteal phase is in the normal range, even if it is on the low side. Although I'd prefer to see 12-14dpo, I'll take what I can get. It seems that all systems are working properly and I am hopeful that we will have a happy healthy pregnancy soon. I'm just glad to be ovulating and have normal AF. Let's hope that my hormone levels are also normal. There is no way to tell other than blood tests and those are not in the cards, as our doctor will only do testing if we've had a lot of trouble. This cycle, however, appears to be out.
This morning my temps dropped 0.3 degress, from an average of 36.50, to only 36.22C. I'm taking that as an indicator that we are not miraculously pregnant this cycle, and that AF is on her way. We plan to skip trying in December and to focus on family and the holidays. We'll now be moving onto January to try to conceive in hopes for an October or November 2011 baby. (Those are two of my favorite months.) Please wish us positive luck/karma and send prayers our direction for a happy healthy pregnancy and baby to be.
As for adding to our family, today we are adopting a shelter cat. He will make three. After suddenly losing our youngest cat at the end of May 2010, I wasn't sure we'd get another cat at all. Losing her in only a few precious hours, took a really big toll on my heart. After doing some soul searching, I have spent most of this week torn between two wonderful cats at our local shelter. I know that our beloved cat would have wanted us to save a new friend, and give them a loving home, just like we did for her.
I went in to see one specific cat and ended up connecting with two. Ultimately, we could only take one cat and I had to make a tough choice. It took me over three days, but I finally decided to take the second kitty that I met. He seemed to have the most friendly/cuddly disposition and I thought he would fit into our household well. Though it was a very close race and both were friendly and social. They definately didn't make it an easy decision! The first kitty I met was beautiful, friendly and curious, but he was sneezing and I had to take into account my pets at home and what is best for them. I would have loved to adopt both boys, but thats not possible right now. So I had the shelter put my name on the other guys' account incase they were to put him on a list to be put to sleep, then I'll be going back to get him even if we don't have the room!
So tonight on my way home from work, I am picking up our new friend! He is a brown tabby cat with white feet and chest. The shelter thinks he is about a year old, but they aren't sure, and really it doesnt matter to us. We are just glad to be able to rescue another kitty and I'm hopeful that he will blend into our family nicely.
This morning my temps dropped 0.3 degress, from an average of 36.50, to only 36.22C. I'm taking that as an indicator that we are not miraculously pregnant this cycle, and that AF is on her way. We plan to skip trying in December and to focus on family and the holidays. We'll now be moving onto January to try to conceive in hopes for an October or November 2011 baby. (Those are two of my favorite months.) Please wish us positive luck/karma and send prayers our direction for a happy healthy pregnancy and baby to be.
As for adding to our family, today we are adopting a shelter cat. He will make three. After suddenly losing our youngest cat at the end of May 2010, I wasn't sure we'd get another cat at all. Losing her in only a few precious hours, took a really big toll on my heart. After doing some soul searching, I have spent most of this week torn between two wonderful cats at our local shelter. I know that our beloved cat would have wanted us to save a new friend, and give them a loving home, just like we did for her.
I went in to see one specific cat and ended up connecting with two. Ultimately, we could only take one cat and I had to make a tough choice. It took me over three days, but I finally decided to take the second kitty that I met. He seemed to have the most friendly/cuddly disposition and I thought he would fit into our household well. Though it was a very close race and both were friendly and social. They definately didn't make it an easy decision! The first kitty I met was beautiful, friendly and curious, but he was sneezing and I had to take into account my pets at home and what is best for them. I would have loved to adopt both boys, but thats not possible right now. So I had the shelter put my name on the other guys' account incase they were to put him on a list to be put to sleep, then I'll be going back to get him even if we don't have the room!
So tonight on my way home from work, I am picking up our new friend! He is a brown tabby cat with white feet and chest. The shelter thinks he is about a year old, but they aren't sure, and really it doesnt matter to us. We are just glad to be able to rescue another kitty and I'm hopeful that he will blend into our family nicely.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Ovulation?
Well this has definitely been a confusing cycle. I really don't think that the charting website is correct, but instead feel like ovulation was last weekend. Either Saturday or Sunday to be precise (right as predicted by me on CD23 or 24). My signs point to ewcm, cm position and temperatures. I had consistant (and higher yay!) temperatures up until this week when I spiked. This morning I actually spiked higher than I ever have previously with 36.44C! Go me!
I am finding that I am much more calm this cycle. I am not over anlayzing every twinge or symptom. I had a professional course to prepare for and am happy to report that it took my mind off of babies for a few days. I am even happier to report that I passed my exam and produced a 22 page paper! Who knew I could write so much about Planning Theory and the History of Town Planning? One step complete, two more to challenge.
As for my progress, I have been counting calories again and trying to stay on track with food by using the website myfitnesspal.com. It's also an app on my iphone, which is extremely handy. My food goals are right on track this week, but no weight loss. I've also been taking a spin class on Mondays and doing relaxation yoga on Tuesdays at lunch hour. My good intentions are to run on the treadmill at work, but I haven't yet actually gotten back into running. I hope to get there soon. For now I'm still a bit sluggish and am proud to be doing what I can. (Even though the scale hates me and I'm up a total of about 10lbs from my lowest weight *cry*) I will try to remember where I came from and that a total loss of 75lbs is still a win!
What I have taken from my experience last cycle is this. I have learned to let this experience come as it may. I cannot control this part of my life (or my body for that matter!) and I am stronger because of what I've gone through. I am at peace and am moving forward.
I am finding that I am much more calm this cycle. I am not over anlayzing every twinge or symptom. I had a professional course to prepare for and am happy to report that it took my mind off of babies for a few days. I am even happier to report that I passed my exam and produced a 22 page paper! Who knew I could write so much about Planning Theory and the History of Town Planning? One step complete, two more to challenge.
As for my progress, I have been counting calories again and trying to stay on track with food by using the website myfitnesspal.com. It's also an app on my iphone, which is extremely handy. My food goals are right on track this week, but no weight loss. I've also been taking a spin class on Mondays and doing relaxation yoga on Tuesdays at lunch hour. My good intentions are to run on the treadmill at work, but I haven't yet actually gotten back into running. I hope to get there soon. For now I'm still a bit sluggish and am proud to be doing what I can. (Even though the scale hates me and I'm up a total of about 10lbs from my lowest weight *cry*) I will try to remember where I came from and that a total loss of 75lbs is still a win!
What I have taken from my experience last cycle is this. I have learned to let this experience come as it may. I cannot control this part of my life (or my body for that matter!) and I am stronger because of what I've gone through. I am at peace and am moving forward.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Fertility Charting
I've been tracking my BBT on the fertility friend website. I'm not totally sure if it is accurate, as it seems to think that I ovulated on CD16 this cycle. My temperature chart link is on the right hand side bar, in case you wanted to see for yourself (or if you're like me and like looking at charts and graphs as much as I do). I was expecting O-day to fall around CD23-25 like it did last cycle. This is an interesting curve ball.
I'll take CD16 over CD25 any cycle! Shorter cycles means more chances per year to have a pregnancy, less waiting around for ovulation, and less waiting around for the two week wait. Well okay, the TWW is still the same, but it will seem less lengthy. What CD16 also means for us is that we missed the window for an August little one, but since we weren't supposed to be trying anyhow, I guess its not a big shocker. Although I know my Mom and Grandma would have loved an August baby to share in their birthdays. Next cycle I will have to monitor much more closely.
I used to think I'd be able to pick the month our little one would be born in. I have a few favorites. I've quickly realized that you don't get to pick and choose. At this point I don't even have a preference for boy vs girl. I think this is how you know that you are really ready to be a parent, when the small things no longer matter and the bigger picture does. We just want a healthy happy little one to add to our family. Something in my heart tells me that it is coming soon enough, and that we should enjoy our life now as we currently know it..
I'll take CD16 over CD25 any cycle! Shorter cycles means more chances per year to have a pregnancy, less waiting around for ovulation, and less waiting around for the two week wait. Well okay, the TWW is still the same, but it will seem less lengthy. What CD16 also means for us is that we missed the window for an August little one, but since we weren't supposed to be trying anyhow, I guess its not a big shocker. Although I know my Mom and Grandma would have loved an August baby to share in their birthdays. Next cycle I will have to monitor much more closely.
I used to think I'd be able to pick the month our little one would be born in. I have a few favorites. I've quickly realized that you don't get to pick and choose. At this point I don't even have a preference for boy vs girl. I think this is how you know that you are really ready to be a parent, when the small things no longer matter and the bigger picture does. We just want a healthy happy little one to add to our family. Something in my heart tells me that it is coming soon enough, and that we should enjoy our life now as we currently know it..
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Positive Cycle Progression
This morning, as most mornings now, I woke up at 6am to take my BBT. I've been tracking my temperatures just to ensure my cycles are going along happily and as planned. So far I have noticed a general overall increase in my temperatures of about 0.2C on average, tracking this cycle as compared to last cycle. This is a big positive because my acupuncturist indicated to me that my temperatures were too low. I've also been using a heating pad to try to increase blood flow. It is nice and comforting if nothing else.
Later in the morning, I decided to take an OPK just for kicks and because I had two non-digital ones left to waste. It came back with a pink line on it, which was surprising to me at only CD17. The line wasn't as dark as the control, but still a positive sign that I may ovulate earlier than CD25 this month. I plan to retest with my last remaining non-digital stick on Tuesday to see if it's any darker. It would seem to me that my body is balancing out somewhat.
For the rest of this week, I am going to try to get a 20 page paper completed and work on readings for my professional practitioners course and exam, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, next weekend. If I pass, I'll be one step closer to my professional designation. Hopefully I can focus and get babies off my brain for three days!
Later in the morning, I decided to take an OPK just for kicks and because I had two non-digital ones left to waste. It came back with a pink line on it, which was surprising to me at only CD17. The line wasn't as dark as the control, but still a positive sign that I may ovulate earlier than CD25 this month. I plan to retest with my last remaining non-digital stick on Tuesday to see if it's any darker. It would seem to me that my body is balancing out somewhat.
For the rest of this week, I am going to try to get a 20 page paper completed and work on readings for my professional practitioners course and exam, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, next weekend. If I pass, I'll be one step closer to my professional designation. Hopefully I can focus and get babies off my brain for three days!
 |
| CD17(Nov7) - Non TTC cycle |
Friday, November 5, 2010
Treatments
I've decided to treat myself to a few luxuries in the waiting period before trying to conceive again:
Acupuncture
I've started acupuncture to hopefully get my cycles on track. My new acupuncturist says that I have blood stasis and dampness which are causing grief to my system while trying to conceive. At the first visit she gave me chinese herbs to drink in tea to help balance me out. They taste horrible! (like drinking celery tea mixed with vomit. yummy!) My western medicine doctor thinks that it may not be a good idea to take the herbs since she didn't have information on what exactly is in the mixture. I'm now torn, stuck in the middle of an eastern/western medicine fight. I don't know who to take advice from and feel like I'll just do whatever I feel is right for me. I may not drink the herb tea, or I may drink it sometimes and not others. I really don't want to insult the acupuncturist but I really don't want to be drinking weird unknown tea either.
She also mentioned that given my BBTs from last cycle, my temperatures are too low to sustain a pregnancy. My temperatures averaged at just under 36 degrees celsius before ovulation and only 36.4 after ovulation and while briefly pregnant. So she has recommended some things I can do at home to get blood flowing and I plan to give her ideas a shot. The good news is, based on my own observations of my BBT this cycle, my temperatures have already come up by a few points on average. (See Ovulation Chart link along the right side bar for data).
The other thing she did today was cover a big section of my leg with iodine. She says that if it fades away fast, by today, then I likely have a thyroid problem and am iodine deficient. If it`s still dark tomorrow , then I am good. I think I am good as I just had a blood test and my doctor informed me recently that my thyroid is working fine. So now I've got this big patch of yellow iodine by my right knee which looks all patchy and strange. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with her on this strange trip, at least for a few months. At best, we will be pregnant very quickly after the new year, at worst I learn a bit about eastern medicine.
Massage Therapy
I went for massage treatments last year after the car accident and it did wonders, so I've decided to go every few weeks until the end of the year and treat myself in order to help relax and be more calm. The massage therapist I see is excellent at her job and the experience is very soothing for the body and soul. I look forward to my next appointment and would go everyday if I had the means. I would highly recommend this treatment to anyone!
Chiropractic Care
I've been seeing my chiropractor now for a few years and I go about once a month to get adjusted. It keeps my immune system healthy and helps to relax my muscles in conjunction with the on site massage therapy. I plan to keep this up once a month for the duration of my future pregnancy and possibly even beyond.
Facials
Okay, so this isn't really related to TTC in any way, but it's really nice to be pampered and I think every once in awhile is nice to go for a facial. Plus it helps a lot with trouble spots from all the hormone fluctuations! This is a random treatment, not on a regular basis. I also recommend this one to anyone who likes to feel pampered.
And below are the things on my To Do List before TTC again:
Dentist
We go every six months for a full cleaning and are due for our next end of November, so I am including this here as something I will take care of in relation to TTC. I've read that having healthy teeth and gums is a big step towards a healthy pregnancy. Looking forward to having that squeeky clean feeling. I know some of you will think that I am crazy, but I love getting fluoride trays!
Yearly Exam
I scheduled my yearly exam for next week. It needs to be done and since I am not TTC for now, I figured it's as good a time as any to get this out of the way. Then when we are TTC again we can know that everything is good and healthy for baby's oven. I will get my results in a few weeks.
Exercise
I haven't been working out really since July (unless you count walking all over Europe during our vacation.) Lately, I've found a huge lack of energy and have been just happy to get through each day without being over tired. I struggle most days to stay awake past 9pm and some days find myself falling asleep mid afternoon. I am hoping that my body will heal and I'll get my energy levels back up again. I'm very drained right now and I can feel it. I am getting 6-9 hours of sleep each night and don't think I can or should get much more. Maybe getting back into a routine of working out will boost my energy. I'll start slowly with walking and work my way back to running and lifting again. It's hard to get motivated!
So that's the break down of everything I am doing for my health prior to trying to conceive again. Here's hoping it will all mesh together and aid us in producing a happy healthy bundle next fall or winter! I'll post updates on my thoughts on the treatments as they unfold.
Acupuncture
I've started acupuncture to hopefully get my cycles on track. My new acupuncturist says that I have blood stasis and dampness which are causing grief to my system while trying to conceive. At the first visit she gave me chinese herbs to drink in tea to help balance me out. They taste horrible! (like drinking celery tea mixed with vomit. yummy!) My western medicine doctor thinks that it may not be a good idea to take the herbs since she didn't have information on what exactly is in the mixture. I'm now torn, stuck in the middle of an eastern/western medicine fight. I don't know who to take advice from and feel like I'll just do whatever I feel is right for me. I may not drink the herb tea, or I may drink it sometimes and not others. I really don't want to insult the acupuncturist but I really don't want to be drinking weird unknown tea either.
She also mentioned that given my BBTs from last cycle, my temperatures are too low to sustain a pregnancy. My temperatures averaged at just under 36 degrees celsius before ovulation and only 36.4 after ovulation and while briefly pregnant. So she has recommended some things I can do at home to get blood flowing and I plan to give her ideas a shot. The good news is, based on my own observations of my BBT this cycle, my temperatures have already come up by a few points on average. (See Ovulation Chart link along the right side bar for data).
The other thing she did today was cover a big section of my leg with iodine. She says that if it fades away fast, by today, then I likely have a thyroid problem and am iodine deficient. If it`s still dark tomorrow , then I am good. I think I am good as I just had a blood test and my doctor informed me recently that my thyroid is working fine. So now I've got this big patch of yellow iodine by my right knee which looks all patchy and strange. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with her on this strange trip, at least for a few months. At best, we will be pregnant very quickly after the new year, at worst I learn a bit about eastern medicine.
Massage Therapy
I went for massage treatments last year after the car accident and it did wonders, so I've decided to go every few weeks until the end of the year and treat myself in order to help relax and be more calm. The massage therapist I see is excellent at her job and the experience is very soothing for the body and soul. I look forward to my next appointment and would go everyday if I had the means. I would highly recommend this treatment to anyone!
Chiropractic Care
I've been seeing my chiropractor now for a few years and I go about once a month to get adjusted. It keeps my immune system healthy and helps to relax my muscles in conjunction with the on site massage therapy. I plan to keep this up once a month for the duration of my future pregnancy and possibly even beyond.
Facials
Okay, so this isn't really related to TTC in any way, but it's really nice to be pampered and I think every once in awhile is nice to go for a facial. Plus it helps a lot with trouble spots from all the hormone fluctuations! This is a random treatment, not on a regular basis. I also recommend this one to anyone who likes to feel pampered.
And below are the things on my To Do List before TTC again:
Dentist
We go every six months for a full cleaning and are due for our next end of November, so I am including this here as something I will take care of in relation to TTC. I've read that having healthy teeth and gums is a big step towards a healthy pregnancy. Looking forward to having that squeeky clean feeling. I know some of you will think that I am crazy, but I love getting fluoride trays!
Yearly Exam
I scheduled my yearly exam for next week. It needs to be done and since I am not TTC for now, I figured it's as good a time as any to get this out of the way. Then when we are TTC again we can know that everything is good and healthy for baby's oven. I will get my results in a few weeks.
Exercise
I haven't been working out really since July (unless you count walking all over Europe during our vacation.) Lately, I've found a huge lack of energy and have been just happy to get through each day without being over tired. I struggle most days to stay awake past 9pm and some days find myself falling asleep mid afternoon. I am hoping that my body will heal and I'll get my energy levels back up again. I'm very drained right now and I can feel it. I am getting 6-9 hours of sleep each night and don't think I can or should get much more. Maybe getting back into a routine of working out will boost my energy. I'll start slowly with walking and work my way back to running and lifting again. It's hard to get motivated!
So that's the break down of everything I am doing for my health prior to trying to conceive again. Here's hoping it will all mesh together and aid us in producing a happy healthy bundle next fall or winter! I'll post updates on my thoughts on the treatments as they unfold.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Moving Forward
So last week after seeing my doctor on Tuesday evening, she sent me for beta blood testing. I went to the lab on Wednesday and had 4 or 5 vials of blood taken and then returned on Friday for the second round. I dislike getting blood taken - its a general dislike of needles and being stabbed - but it is getting a bit easier each time I have to go. Also I figure that once we are pregnant I will likely have my blood taken a few times, so I may as well get used to it now.
My doctor was supposed to call Friday to let me know but I think she forgot. I waited all weekend for my doctor to give me the results. A decreasing hCG level, and I would be on the right track. An increasing hCG, and that could spell trouble - an ectopic or something along those lines. I'm a worrier. Can you tell?
After a week and a half of waiting to confirm my intuition and a weekend of sweating over undetermined blood test results, I had an answer. It was as I suspected, a chemical pregnancy. I believe I was 4 and a half weeks based on conception and not the 6 weeks based on LMP.
So the sadness is waining and I will not ever forget this experience but I will move on and stay positive. My hCG is now thankfully back to zero. The bad side of the coin, we are not having a baby - yet. The good side of the coin, I am healthy. Only approximately 59 days to go until our two cycle wait is over and we can get back to business. January can not arrive fast enough.
My doctor was supposed to call Friday to let me know but I think she forgot. I waited all weekend for my doctor to give me the results. A decreasing hCG level, and I would be on the right track. An increasing hCG, and that could spell trouble - an ectopic or something along those lines. I'm a worrier. Can you tell?
After a week and a half of waiting to confirm my intuition and a weekend of sweating over undetermined blood test results, I had an answer. It was as I suspected, a chemical pregnancy. I believe I was 4 and a half weeks based on conception and not the 6 weeks based on LMP.
So the sadness is waining and I will not ever forget this experience but I will move on and stay positive. My hCG is now thankfully back to zero. The bad side of the coin, we are not having a baby - yet. The good side of the coin, I am healthy. Only approximately 59 days to go until our two cycle wait is over and we can get back to business. January can not arrive fast enough.
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